Face it- I am a hopeless romantic. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that though, but sometimes it is annoying, to myself. I just finished that Indian movie, “Dil to Pagal Hai.” It made me so, I don’t know, excited and romantic as well as expectant. I can’t wait to be in love. I can’t wait till I feel this way:
“When he looks at me, I feel beautiful. When he laughs, I feel like dancing. When he loves me, my eyes fill with tears. He has made me realize that he is made for me, and I for him.”
But for now, until God sees fit to give me that, I will work on my relationship with the Lord and with my family. I need to feel that way about the Lord and develop a more personal relationship with Him. I want to, too. He has done so much for me; He is deserving of everything I could give Him, He is deserving of all of me.
All my life, people have been telling me they loved me. My parents told me. My family told me. Friends told me. Guys told me. But, it doesn’t matter what they tell me. What matters is what they do. My dad left us, my mom and all six of us kids. My big brother left us too. My friends have rejected me for the truth that God has given me to give them. Most of those guys wanted me to hold back a crucial, if not the most crucial, part of me, my faith in God, in order to have a relationship with them. If these people truly loved me, their actions would have been in my best interest. But they weren’t. All their actions were in their best interest. They did what felt good.
Other people have told me they loved me, and truly shown it. My mom gave up her marriage so that we children would be safe from an immature father, who was emotionally abusive. My best friend Becki will tell me the truth, that I need to hear, instead of holding back out of fear of my getting offended. Most of all, God has told me He loves me and has proven it in every action He has ever taken towards me, every single one.
So love is not what you say, it is what you do. I want to prove my love for God with my actions. I want to prove my love for my family with the way I relate to them. And when I meet the man I am going to marry, I want to prove my love to him through what I do, not only through what I say.