April 25, 2006

A Promised Expose of the Female Mind: As Understood By Author/ Operator

I am a female, but that does not give me any deep insights to the female mind since I am still understanding why it has to work the way it does.

Female brains tend to overfocus. I suppose you could say the average girl (I am using myself as an example, remember) will overprocess, and overthink everything that is said to her if it is of any value, emotionally especially. If a guy told me he thought I was pretty, I would probably spend a good deal of time wondering what his real motive, etc., was, even though he probably meant just, and only, what he said.

It has been said to me that guys are very straightforward. Females are much less so. We will spend hours, possibly even days, thinking about the right way to say something if it is something that could have a huge impact, such as admitting deeper feelings than friendship, or breaking off a relationship. Even worse, after we say it, we will re-analyze it and then beat ourselves up if we discover a way we could have said it better. This is why, unless you are dealing with a terribly heartless female, you will receive an email saying something important, and then another email clarifying or specifying what she said in the first, perhaps even apologizing. We always want to find the best, least hurtful way to say everything, and not that many things are simply "off the cuff."

Before I continue, I want to specify that these are general guidelines, and perhaps only to a specific type of female. There are exceptions to every rule and there are females that are very selfish, cruel, and mean. Do not, I repeat, do not give up heart if you come across one of these females; they do not represent the majority of women. At least, I should hope not.
Now let's talk about day to day life. A female will wake up in the morning and her first practical thoughts are just that, practical. She is going to think about what she will eat for breakfast, perhaps even dinner and what she is going to wear and what things she will occupy herself with throughout the day. Sometimes she gets really unpractical and starts planning about what to do if she sees "him" or what she'll say to so-and-so, etc.
Now comes the topic of clothing and appearance. Females tend to overfocus on clothes. We are sort of protective of our styles. If we don't ask for criticism, don't offer it, and better yet, don't give criticism even when asked, unless the female in question is a relative, and even then you are treading on slippery ground. However, we do desperately need and appreciate compliments. Because whether it looks like it or not, the average female makes a sincere effort to make herself look good for the male population and it is always nice when they show their appreciation.
Another thing, I would stay away from the dreaded "weight" topic entirely. Sometimes, there are exceptions though, and you may ALWAYS tell a female that she looks great, very slim, or something general like that. But be careful not to imply that she needed to lose weight. I think that a really nice guy (J.L.) I know handled a tough situtation that I, unthinkingly, placed him in. We were lifeguarding together a couple months ago and for some bizarre reason I asked him if it looked like I had lost weight because I had been trying. He said, "I didn't notice because I always thought you looked wonderful." Or something like that. THAT is a perfect example of male-manuevering out of a sticky situation. Fortunately, not all females are as blunder-headed as me and won't put you there but if you ever find yourself in such a spot, PANIC. No, I am just kidding....
I feel so superficial writing about my sex in such a way, but I think while I have all these traits, I am not your average "pretty girl." I am rough and tumble, sort of, so it is a little easier for guys to be around me, or so I have been told.
This is my first forray into the recesses of the female mind which I do not pretend to fully understand myself. I feel so sorry for you men, and promise to be as undifficult as possible in every situation in the future, now that I have written and therefore, better seen what you have to deal with on a day-to-day basis.


Scribbley said...

haha, "operator"! I think that was a very insightful piece. Although I can say I have ran into a few females who seem deliberately bent on causing suffering. Either way, I think the female mind can be best summed up as "calculating." Little is an accident. Us guys are usually not that calculatiing at all, although a few are and they are a dangerous lot indeed.

Nevar said...

thought i would visit your blog after the mention of the mental adventure from your side of the species. upon reading your post, i find it comforting that logic does indeed live among your sex. right now you are an ambassador. that is all. nevar OUT.

AFamousStatue said...

Oh, logic has always been alive and well amongst us females. We just don't always use it correctly, and sometimes we use it overly much. Thanks for stopping by and come back soon. I will try to have a part two to this expose, once something exciting happens, whatever that may be. Perhaps I will go by some interesting situations that have happened to me as of late...

Verity said...

I know exactly what I mean. I hate the female mind. Why is that we have to overthink everything!! Anyway, thanks for making me laugh. Love you - your little sis