July 07, 2006

"Jesus Loves Me!"

I slide down to sit on the cold bathroom floor,
My back against the abruptly slammed door.
This has become my regular haunt.
Always weeping, I come.
I failed again, I say to myself,
And clench my fists so tight
My nails leave red crescent moons on my palms.
This time, like all the others,
It was my quick tongue
And rapid-fire temper
(that quickly goes and leaves remorse)
That brought me to this dark room
Alone, with teary mascara-stained cheeks.
I am so tired.
My eyes are heavy, so heavy
With the weight of sleep
And yet unspilled tears,
On the brink of flooding over.
I am tired
Because this same thing happened last night
And I am tired
Because I see the futility of fixing this myself.
So I close my eyes,
Raise my hands
And start to sing
That soft lullaby
We know so well-
Jesus loves me
This I know
Because the Bible tells me so...
He loves me
Because I trust Him.
He loves me
Because I obey Him.
He loves me
Because He made me
And He knew my name
Even before my ancestors were born
And knew how many tears
Would ever drop from my eyes.
I love Him
Because He first loved me.
I love Him
Because without His love and comfort in my life,
What else is there to live for?
I can't spend the rest of my life
On the cold bathroom floor,
And I know I will continue to make mistakes.
But I also know,
As long as I continue to follow Him
Like a clumsy, little lamb,
Jesus loves me
This I know,
Because He tells me so...
(Okay, you can comment but don't criticize too harshly because this all happened last night. Actually, sure, go ahead and criticize. It doesn't change what my message is to myself, to God, and to you...)

5 comments:

Wendy WaterBirde said...

Jesus sure does love you, and I'm remembering the old sunday school rhyme "Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so". I'm also remembering the fairy's tears from a previous poem of yours, and then:

"...she blows upon (the dandelion),
Scattering its offspring to the four corners of the earth,
Each parachuting seed bearing a fairy's wish for sunshine
And a gentle place for happiness to grow."

May you find a gentle place for your happiness to grow. Maybe seeds are being planted right here in this wonderful blog, which I feel blessed you introduced me to.

I loved the comment you left on my blog so much I quoted it, hoping that's okay. It's in the (still unfinished) post here

Patt said...

nice.

Scribbley said...

This was very powerful, and the description in the beginning made feel like I witnessed this myself... I'm glad you were able to find comfort.

Waa, I hope you don't really think I was criticizing your poem before, I really didn't want to make you feel bad in any way! I will be much more careful with what I say in the future... Ack, I am sorry. I really enjoy reading your posts. Why else would I skulk back here so often, way past my bedtime?

Take care

AFamousStatue said...

You didn't make me feel bad! I am glad the poem seemed real, I wrote it in the midst of the chaos when the pain was most real...

I am glad you like reading my posts. It seems weird to have back-tracked, but this is for the best (for me anyway.)

A big point of my posts now is to help encourage you towards the Lord, which you say I have done in the past. Actually, if I could help anyone grow towards the Lord, I would feel more honored than if the Queen of England had dinner in my home, seriously.

Happy:)Girl said...

i just adore this poem. i am printing it off and putting it in my scrapbook/notebook. It's is so inspirational and so true. Thank you for being honest.
love,
serena