June 18, 2007

A Muse on Father's Day


I'm not back. I'm just returning briefly--even though no one stops by this blog anymore anyway probably...

It's been a long time. Still going to school. Still working like crazy. Still growing in the Lord. (which is the best "still") Umm, got serious w/ someone, and we broke up. : ( But it's for the best. God always knows what is for the best.

Which is why I'm here. My dad is getting re-married. Of course, this makes me want to swear (which I never ever would do) and do all sorts of angry, you-never-loved-me ranting and things (also, which I never ever would do). Because he didn't. He never loved me. And now I will have a stepmother who I haven't even met and three step-siblings, the youngest of whom is 2, a year younger than my littlest brother when my dad left my family almost (or over) a decade ago. He doesn't want to see us more than twice a year for a couple days. I guess, honestly, I don't care. I've always wanted to be done with him. But it still hurts. A lot.

Wow, this post is so depressing--so unlike my usual style of writing. But I just needed to vent. I AM TRUSTING the Lord and I am so grateful for everything He is letting happen. Yesterday, Father's Day, I had to spend with a man I can't stand, who has never said anything true to me. We went to lunch and saw all the fathers with their families. All the loving fathers. All the fathers who were there for their kids and their wives. I wanted to be sad, and yeah, I was. But I decided the only way to handle the day was to celebrate my true Father---the One who was ALWAYS been there for me, loved me, and given to me sacrificially and perfectly. The Father I can rely on. The Father I can rest in and trust in and the One I can love... God.

If anyone else is struggling with a bad father (this means you, Scrib), do what I did: look to your true Father. Rejoice. Rest. And move on....

Praying for everyone...

3 comments:

Wendy WaterBirde said...

Hi Liberty,

Just happened to check in today (long story), glad i did. My father and i were estranged and it hurt me when he remarried (and remarried and remarried) too. So i understand how you feel and send an encouraging hug accross the page. I hope everything is otherwise well...

Paix,

Wendy

Ian said...

I am sure this is all just a speck in your rear-view mirror now, but I hope you are feeling better about things and life in general. Hope all is well.

AFamousStatue said...

Hey! I'm doing MUCH better- about that. There are so many other more difficult things going on. I'll blog about them sometime...

Hope all is well in Tennessee.....