I GOT MARRIED!
Best day of my life: 4/10/10.
"Praise be to God for His indescribable gifts..."
Best day of my life: 4/10/10.
"Praise be to God for His indescribable gifts..."
May 15, 2010
November 22, 2009
The Way
NOTE: I just wanted to reemphasize the heart with which this note was written. A few people have expressed that this was "judgmental" or "condemnatory" in a blanket fashion. I do not intend to say that ALL the people who attend The Way are displeasing to God. Absolutely not. I am sure there are many sincere people in the church. My main point of contention with The Way is the overall image/impression the church gives you and leaves you with. The poem is strong because it is imagery expressing a simple truth. It is meant to be strong and carry across the taste that the church left in my heart. Allow me some poetic license if it is not scattered throughout with disclaimers to the sincere people at the church.I do not apologize for my sentiments regarding The Way. I still feel absolutely burdened that the evangelical church in America return to the Biblical standard of simple discipleship, not people pleasing, not loud worship sets. The gospel. Unadultered, undecorated. Jesus' words. Straight and to the point, regardless of who gets offended at the more difficult passages. That is the concern that drove this note and the poem contained in it.
---------------------------------
So I know there are people who attend The Way who are absolutely sincere. And I know that there are some crazy good sermons preached there sometimes.But when I went with Christina last night we just felt heart broken. I believe the church is in full process of selling out to materialism and selfishness and pretty much everything the early churches of Corinth, etc, were not. The Way is just blaringly obvious.
First off, you walk in and all you see are designer clothes and pretty face. It is essentially a giant Hollister or Abercrombie ad. I felt out of place even though I looked pretty decently nice for church. Everyone was just SO pretty. It looked and felt like we were on a parade.
Then the worship music was so loud you could feel it penetrate your insides and everyone was up jumping and waving their hands. The louder the music, the more vivacious was the crowd.
The sermon was pretty good but it seemed to contradictory to talk about being sold out for Christ when everyone else looked sold out to self and appearance.
Then the band got up again and sang, "I Surrrender All." Very quietly, very gently. I stood up. Barely anyone else in the auditorium did. Then the band switched to a rock anthem with Christian lyrics and everyone was up jumping and swaying. When the chorus came around, it was the loudest ever and there were hardly any hands that WEREN'T up in the air waving around. Emotion driven. That is what the church has become. And we wonder why we lose so many young people to the world...the church is becoming like the world.
Anyway, the rest of what I thought is expressed in my poem.:
I surrender all
Softly rains down from the
Rafters with black boxes suspended
High above the distracted crowd.
No one hears the gentle claims
To Jesus’ blood and
All that is clean.
The little squares of light
From those things
That tie us to everyone but God,
A instant text,
A reply back.
She’s in the know
That Jack and Jill broke up
But does she know she’s
Hurting the God of all that
Is,
Breaking His heart?
I alone stand in a room
Filled with hundreds.
It’s not a church,
It’s a warehouse
Storing little idols,
Little rulers of all their own.
Coach, Chanel, and others
Dot their bodies like
Expensive billboards
Eulogizing what they care about.
These little idols
Alive in their pursuits
But dead in their souls.
The show.
The parade.
Jesus would not approve.
My heart.
Breaking.
Jesus would not be welcome here.
The band changes to a rock anthem,
Oh, wait, a rock anthem
With Christian words.
And suddenly, the dead idols
Are up, up on their teetering stilettos
And Italian leather shoes.
Up and writhing
Back in forth, reminiscent
Of a downtown club.
Dancing for Jesus?
Or dancing for self?
The beat that pulses from the drummer’s hands
Through the black boxes
Shakes my blood vessels.
I can literally feel
The vibrations go through me.
At the chorus,
The dead idols really come alive.
They raise their hands and
Rock their tight, gym-sculpted bodies.
Raising their hands to Jesus?
Or raising their hands to the band?
Jesus would not approve.
The music finally ends
And so do the softly falling tears
That do not cross my cheeks
Because the preacher preached
Or the singer sang.
They drop because
God is not here.
Now I know why I feel alone,
She says.
Why?
Because all these Christians
Look just like THEM.
Just like the world.
Just like the people that are
Out and out headed for fire.
Just like the people
That sleep around
And lie
And commit adultery.
If we lined them up,
There would be no difference between the
Dead idols and the dead souls.
Jesus would not approve.
We rush through the door
Past the kissing couples
And skinny jean legs.
The coifed men
And skanky girls.
The girl with her underwear
As her outerwear.
The boy with the medical muscles
And spray-on tan.
The boy with the earrings, tats and
Oh wait, that’s a pastor.
Jesus is crying.
Where has My church gone?
From the upstairs
To the downtown?
From the go by 2s
To go by Fifth Ave.?
From the you are My temple
To you are a playground?
From the cross
To the grave?
Jesus would not approve.
What can I do?
Who can I send?
Send me, Lord, send me.
I am not afraid to have
Their icy glares turned from
The socially unacceptable girl
3 seats over
To the equally infuriating one
Jumping from her seat
And taking over the pastor’s
Stand up there on that plastic stage.
I’ll tell them!
Hellfire and brimstone
Like John Wesley loved.
I’ll tell them!
Send me, Lord, send me.
Let me help save the dead idols
Before the smoke suffocates.
Before the fire comes.
I see it at the door!
Quick, where is the fire alarm?
The man sees my distress and says
We had it removed.
The noise irritates people.
Oh no.
No,Jesus would not approve…
---------------------------------
So I know there are people who attend The Way who are absolutely sincere. And I know that there are some crazy good sermons preached there sometimes.But when I went with Christina last night we just felt heart broken. I believe the church is in full process of selling out to materialism and selfishness and pretty much everything the early churches of Corinth, etc, were not. The Way is just blaringly obvious.
First off, you walk in and all you see are designer clothes and pretty face. It is essentially a giant Hollister or Abercrombie ad. I felt out of place even though I looked pretty decently nice for church. Everyone was just SO pretty. It looked and felt like we were on a parade.
Then the worship music was so loud you could feel it penetrate your insides and everyone was up jumping and waving their hands. The louder the music, the more vivacious was the crowd.
The sermon was pretty good but it seemed to contradictory to talk about being sold out for Christ when everyone else looked sold out to self and appearance.
Then the band got up again and sang, "I Surrrender All." Very quietly, very gently. I stood up. Barely anyone else in the auditorium did. Then the band switched to a rock anthem with Christian lyrics and everyone was up jumping and swaying. When the chorus came around, it was the loudest ever and there were hardly any hands that WEREN'T up in the air waving around. Emotion driven. That is what the church has become. And we wonder why we lose so many young people to the world...the church is becoming like the world.
Anyway, the rest of what I thought is expressed in my poem.:
I surrender all
Softly rains down from the
Rafters with black boxes suspended
High above the distracted crowd.
No one hears the gentle claims
To Jesus’ blood and
All that is clean.
The little squares of light
From those things
That tie us to everyone but God,
A instant text,
A reply back.
She’s in the know
That Jack and Jill broke up
But does she know she’s
Hurting the God of all that
Is,
Breaking His heart?
I alone stand in a room
Filled with hundreds.
It’s not a church,
It’s a warehouse
Storing little idols,
Little rulers of all their own.
Coach, Chanel, and others
Dot their bodies like
Expensive billboards
Eulogizing what they care about.
These little idols
Alive in their pursuits
But dead in their souls.
The show.
The parade.
Jesus would not approve.
My heart.
Breaking.
Jesus would not be welcome here.
The band changes to a rock anthem,
Oh, wait, a rock anthem
With Christian words.
And suddenly, the dead idols
Are up, up on their teetering stilettos
And Italian leather shoes.
Up and writhing
Back in forth, reminiscent
Of a downtown club.
Dancing for Jesus?
Or dancing for self?
The beat that pulses from the drummer’s hands
Through the black boxes
Shakes my blood vessels.
I can literally feel
The vibrations go through me.
At the chorus,
The dead idols really come alive.
They raise their hands and
Rock their tight, gym-sculpted bodies.
Raising their hands to Jesus?
Or raising their hands to the band?
Jesus would not approve.
The music finally ends
And so do the softly falling tears
That do not cross my cheeks
Because the preacher preached
Or the singer sang.
They drop because
God is not here.
Now I know why I feel alone,
She says.
Why?
Because all these Christians
Look just like THEM.
Just like the world.
Just like the people that are
Out and out headed for fire.
Just like the people
That sleep around
And lie
And commit adultery.
If we lined them up,
There would be no difference between the
Dead idols and the dead souls.
Jesus would not approve.
We rush through the door
Past the kissing couples
And skinny jean legs.
The coifed men
And skanky girls.
The girl with her underwear
As her outerwear.
The boy with the medical muscles
And spray-on tan.
The boy with the earrings, tats and
Oh wait, that’s a pastor.
Jesus is crying.
Where has My church gone?
From the upstairs
To the downtown?
From the go by 2s
To go by Fifth Ave.?
From the you are My temple
To you are a playground?
From the cross
To the grave?
Jesus would not approve.
What can I do?
Who can I send?
Send me, Lord, send me.
I am not afraid to have
Their icy glares turned from
The socially unacceptable girl
3 seats over
To the equally infuriating one
Jumping from her seat
And taking over the pastor’s
Stand up there on that plastic stage.
I’ll tell them!
Hellfire and brimstone
Like John Wesley loved.
I’ll tell them!
Send me, Lord, send me.
Let me help save the dead idols
Before the smoke suffocates.
Before the fire comes.
I see it at the door!
Quick, where is the fire alarm?
The man sees my distress and says
We had it removed.
The noise irritates people.
Oh no.
No,Jesus would not approve…
April 20, 2009
"Unreasonably" Confident
I have been hard on my body lately.
I don't get enough sleep at night (long story.) I go to school full-time. Work almost full-time. And am actively competing in two sports: basketball and taekwondo. This weekend, I competed in my state's taekwondo championship. And I still hurt. Played basketball for 2+ hrs with 23 guys tonight and compounded everything.
Yes, I know. I am going too hard on my body. I get it. But something good is coming out of it. So I share it with you:
As my body breaks down, I am reminded of the shortness of life, the quickness by which the great fall, and the absolute lack of security we have that we will be alive tomorrow when the earth turns enough to let the sun's light rise over our horizons. We do not know anything except for who we have been and who we are right now.
Who we are right now is by and large dictated by our choice for or against God. If we choose against Him, it is a slippery slope into bar room brawls and backstabbing our loved ones.... If we choose for Him, it is a harder climb but worth every drop of sweat's weight in gold for the true joie de vivre we attain and understanding of what true love is -- from the Savior.
I know not why God’s wondrous grace
To me He hath made known,
Nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
Redeemed me for His own.
Refrain
But I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.
I know not how this saving faith
To me He did impart,
Nor how believing in His Word
Wrought peace within my heart.
Refrain
But I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.
I know not how the Spirit moves,
Convincing men of sin,
Revealing Jesus through the Word,
Creating faith in Him.
Refrain
But I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.
I know not what of good or ill
May be reserved for me,
Of weary ways or golden days,
Before His face I see.
Refrain
But I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.
I know not when my Lord may come,
At night or noonday fair,
Nor if I walk the vale with Him,
Or meet Him in the air.
Refrain
But I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.
-----------------------
If you haven't heard that hymn, look it up and listen to it. It is so encouraging and inspiring.
I know Whom I have believed...not myself, not vain words of man, not the twisted lies of established education, but JESUS' words. In that I can rest until He calls me home...
P.S. I know I haven't been keeping up with some of y'all's wonderful posts --- life is VERY busy. But thank you so much for your encouraging and faithful comments on my sporadic posts. They are blessings...
I don't get enough sleep at night (long story.) I go to school full-time. Work almost full-time. And am actively competing in two sports: basketball and taekwondo. This weekend, I competed in my state's taekwondo championship. And I still hurt. Played basketball for 2+ hrs with 23 guys tonight and compounded everything.
Yes, I know. I am going too hard on my body. I get it. But something good is coming out of it. So I share it with you:
As my body breaks down, I am reminded of the shortness of life, the quickness by which the great fall, and the absolute lack of security we have that we will be alive tomorrow when the earth turns enough to let the sun's light rise over our horizons. We do not know anything except for who we have been and who we are right now.
Who we are right now is by and large dictated by our choice for or against God. If we choose against Him, it is a slippery slope into bar room brawls and backstabbing our loved ones.... If we choose for Him, it is a harder climb but worth every drop of sweat's weight in gold for the true joie de vivre we attain and understanding of what true love is -- from the Savior.
I know not why God’s wondrous grace
To me He hath made known,
Nor why, unworthy, Christ in love
Redeemed me for His own.
Refrain
But I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.
I know not how this saving faith
To me He did impart,
Nor how believing in His Word
Wrought peace within my heart.
Refrain
But I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.
I know not how the Spirit moves,
Convincing men of sin,
Revealing Jesus through the Word,
Creating faith in Him.
Refrain
But I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.
I know not what of good or ill
May be reserved for me,
Of weary ways or golden days,
Before His face I see.
Refrain
But I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.
I know not when my Lord may come,
At night or noonday fair,
Nor if I walk the vale with Him,
Or meet Him in the air.
Refrain
But I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.
-----------------------
If you haven't heard that hymn, look it up and listen to it. It is so encouraging and inspiring.
I know Whom I have believed...not myself, not vain words of man, not the twisted lies of established education, but JESUS' words. In that I can rest until He calls me home...
P.S. I know I haven't been keeping up with some of y'all's wonderful posts --- life is VERY busy. But thank you so much for your encouraging and faithful comments on my sporadic posts. They are blessings...
March 24, 2009
A Funny, Good Quote
(Seen somewhere on the www.)
"Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, 'Oh NO! She's awake!' "
: )
Be a fighting force for God and for good in this world. There is no other way to live that does result in a wasted life.
"Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, 'Oh NO! She's awake!' "
: )
Be a fighting force for God and for good in this world. There is no other way to live that does result in a wasted life.
March 18, 2009
Finding Rest Within
The past two weeks have been ... difficult. I'm not exactly sure why certain things have been happening and also I have been struggling with other things I thought were behind me.
I stopped myself yesterday and sat myself down for a long, hard "talk." I was reading my Bible and taking notes. Interestingly, the verse that flung itself out at me was, "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good." (Romans 12:?)
Why do we find ourselves desiring something in our lives that is clearly not good for us?? Something that would even further hurt us and cause pain! That is my question. I still haven't found an answer. I don't exactly think there is one.
So my conclusion was to write down 25 good things in my life that God has given me. These are tangible expressions of God's love for me. Often, when we struggle with something inside, it clouds our vision so we can't see all the things outside us that point us in a different direction.
Also, "abhor what is evil, cling to what is good." Abhor is a strong word. Evil is the opposite of God. It is the opposite of good. It is the opposite of love. There is no other response to something like that apart from abhorrence!
When presented with evil, or others' bad choices that truly affect you, cling to what is good. GOD IS GOOD. All the time. When we struggle with something, it is because GOD wants us to struggle with it. He has a greater plan and purpose.
The woman God is making me is stronger, better and ultimately more useful to Him for going through this time in my life.
I know this sounds cliche but I'm going to say it anyway:
Today could very well be my last day on earth. Or yours. We cannot control the circumstances that face us today. But we can control the attitude (esp. the attitude of the heart) with which we face them. Do
I want to spend my "last day" sad or frustrated or depressed or (fill in the blank)? No way, Jose!
Have a JOYFUL Wednesday, all.
P.S. Just a praise! God provided a GORGEOUS new car for me so my sister could have my old one. It's a brilliant blue 2007 Honda Civic Si. Goodness. My DREAM car. 6-speed. iVTec engine. Even has my hoped for keyless entry (w/ 4-doors for all my passengers.) Oh my goodness. God is SO good.
It seems ridiculous to me I would ever allow myself to be caught up in any kind of pain over other things when God has so richly showered and filled my life with blessings.
Look around. I'll bet yours is full as well.
I stopped myself yesterday and sat myself down for a long, hard "talk." I was reading my Bible and taking notes. Interestingly, the verse that flung itself out at me was, "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good." (Romans 12:?)
Why do we find ourselves desiring something in our lives that is clearly not good for us?? Something that would even further hurt us and cause pain! That is my question. I still haven't found an answer. I don't exactly think there is one.
So my conclusion was to write down 25 good things in my life that God has given me. These are tangible expressions of God's love for me. Often, when we struggle with something inside, it clouds our vision so we can't see all the things outside us that point us in a different direction.
Also, "abhor what is evil, cling to what is good." Abhor is a strong word. Evil is the opposite of God. It is the opposite of good. It is the opposite of love. There is no other response to something like that apart from abhorrence!
When presented with evil, or others' bad choices that truly affect you, cling to what is good. GOD IS GOOD. All the time. When we struggle with something, it is because GOD wants us to struggle with it. He has a greater plan and purpose.
The woman God is making me is stronger, better and ultimately more useful to Him for going through this time in my life.
I know this sounds cliche but I'm going to say it anyway:
Today could very well be my last day on earth. Or yours. We cannot control the circumstances that face us today. But we can control the attitude (esp. the attitude of the heart) with which we face them. Do
I want to spend my "last day" sad or frustrated or depressed or (fill in the blank)? No way, Jose!
Have a JOYFUL Wednesday, all.
P.S. Just a praise! God provided a GORGEOUS new car for me so my sister could have my old one. It's a brilliant blue 2007 Honda Civic Si. Goodness. My DREAM car. 6-speed. iVTec engine. Even has my hoped for keyless entry (w/ 4-doors for all my passengers.) Oh my goodness. God is SO good.
It seems ridiculous to me I would ever allow myself to be caught up in any kind of pain over other things when God has so richly showered and filled my life with blessings.
Look around. I'll bet yours is full as well.
February 21, 2009
A Late Night Realization
Don't you love it when you're just moseying on through and suddenly a new perspective hits you like a firm pillow well-swung in a pillow fight at summer camp? That happened to me tonight so what better place to share it than my blog. Especially since everyone else is asleep, as they should be nearing midnight. Well, the cats are up but they're so unresponsive and...apathetic.
You know the verse, Philippians 4:7, that says God gives you a "peace that passes understanding." Well, I've ALWAYS thought of that verse one way: that the peace God gives us is beyond comprehension to outsiders and even to ourselves sometimes.
But it occured to me tonight that the peace God gives us surpasses the need to understand! When we get on our faces before Jesus and cry out for salvation, we are moving past our human limitations and weak, finite minds into something so much greater and broader and really...INFINITE. The things that quenched our fire and took the wind out of sails and drove us into mazes that seemed endless seem to just fade away. The things that were once of utmost importance seem of no importance at all.
When compared with the grandeur of God, the greatness of our dilemmas and confusions seem absolutely, infinitesimally small. God has taken away our tornadoes of inner and outer doubt and replaced them with doldrums that replenish, not distress.
The peace He gives us takes away the unrest our mind casts us into. And that, in itself, is incomprehensible and magnificent.
But, I go yet a step further into the "passes understanding." God not only takes away our confusion and replaces it with peace, but He, the Creator of the Universe, goes out of the way to answer our endless questions. He is so much better than an earthly father who, at the end of his patience, says, "Because I said so!" to every "Why??" God says, "Because I said so...trust me." We say, "Yes." And He often says, "Here is why I said so." Sometimes we have to wait a little while but God's reasons are always there, even if it takes time to see them, or understand them.
In the meantime, we have, from Him, a peace that truly surpasses all understanding...
I hope that encourages someone tonight. It certainly has me...
You know the verse, Philippians 4:7, that says God gives you a "peace that passes understanding." Well, I've ALWAYS thought of that verse one way: that the peace God gives us is beyond comprehension to outsiders and even to ourselves sometimes.
But it occured to me tonight that the peace God gives us surpasses the need to understand! When we get on our faces before Jesus and cry out for salvation, we are moving past our human limitations and weak, finite minds into something so much greater and broader and really...INFINITE. The things that quenched our fire and took the wind out of sails and drove us into mazes that seemed endless seem to just fade away. The things that were once of utmost importance seem of no importance at all.
When compared with the grandeur of God, the greatness of our dilemmas and confusions seem absolutely, infinitesimally small. God has taken away our tornadoes of inner and outer doubt and replaced them with doldrums that replenish, not distress.
The peace He gives us takes away the unrest our mind casts us into. And that, in itself, is incomprehensible and magnificent.
But, I go yet a step further into the "passes understanding." God not only takes away our confusion and replaces it with peace, but He, the Creator of the Universe, goes out of the way to answer our endless questions. He is so much better than an earthly father who, at the end of his patience, says, "Because I said so!" to every "Why??" God says, "Because I said so...trust me." We say, "Yes." And He often says, "Here is why I said so." Sometimes we have to wait a little while but God's reasons are always there, even if it takes time to see them, or understand them.
In the meantime, we have, from Him, a peace that truly surpasses all understanding...
I hope that encourages someone tonight. It certainly has me...
February 15, 2009
In Honor of Valentine's Day
Wait for me, and I'll return
Only wait very hard
Wait when you are filled with sorrow...
Wait in the sweltering heat
Wait when the others have stopped waiting,
Forgetting their yesterdays.
Wait even when from afar no letters come to you
Wait even when others are tired of waiting...
And when friends sit around the fire,
Drinking to my memory,
Wait, and do not hurry to drink to my memory too.
Wait. For I'll return, defying every death.
And let those who do not wait say that I was lucky.
They will never understand that in the midst of death,
You with you waiting saved me.
Only you and I know how I survived.
It's because you waited, as no one else did.
-Konstantin Simonov
I think this is just a lovely, lovely...love poem. Mostly, it makes me think of how God so often in our lives, asks us to wait for Him. To wait for His leading, for His answer, for His presence, etc. To wait.
Love is laying down (or aside) your life for the other. Loving Christ means leaving your life!! All of it. To start over with whatever He gives you. Loving Christ means following Him when He moves forward and waiting for Him when He stops.
Is Christ asking you to wait for Him right now?? Is He asking for your love this Valentine's Day (a day late)?
St. Augustine said this: 'You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You.'
Waiting for Him may look like a hard thing, but really, in that waiting, there is a greater peace than in any action found apart from Him.
Signed,
Restless...until I found my rest in You...
Only wait very hard
Wait when you are filled with sorrow...
Wait in the sweltering heat
Wait when the others have stopped waiting,
Forgetting their yesterdays.
Wait even when from afar no letters come to you
Wait even when others are tired of waiting...
And when friends sit around the fire,
Drinking to my memory,
Wait, and do not hurry to drink to my memory too.
Wait. For I'll return, defying every death.
And let those who do not wait say that I was lucky.
They will never understand that in the midst of death,
You with you waiting saved me.
Only you and I know how I survived.
It's because you waited, as no one else did.
-Konstantin Simonov
I think this is just a lovely, lovely...love poem. Mostly, it makes me think of how God so often in our lives, asks us to wait for Him. To wait for His leading, for His answer, for His presence, etc. To wait.
Love is laying down (or aside) your life for the other. Loving Christ means leaving your life!! All of it. To start over with whatever He gives you. Loving Christ means following Him when He moves forward and waiting for Him when He stops.
Is Christ asking you to wait for Him right now?? Is He asking for your love this Valentine's Day (a day late)?
St. Augustine said this: 'You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You.'
Waiting for Him may look like a hard thing, but really, in that waiting, there is a greater peace than in any action found apart from Him.
Signed,
Restless...until I found my rest in You...
February 11, 2009
No Matter What
...everything God puts in our lives is good. EVERYTHING.
I might have a broken foot. From taekwondo sparring. Those inexperienced 200 lb., 6'2'' yellow belts with ZERO control...so frustrating. I only JUST recovered from a knee injury from taekwondo of December 2007. SOO frustrating.
But I'm trusting God. This, if it is broken, and tomorrow will tell, may seem like just another challenge in a challenging past few months. But this is like boot camp for the Marines! Seriously! I've decided that's the only way for me to survive my life, which is never dull and not always easy.
Every challenge is an opportunity to get closer to and stronger in God. EVERY SINGLE ONE.
This is my 2009 motto. So bring it!!!!
“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
--1 Cor. 13:6-7
**BibleGateway.com ROCKS! Every single time I go on there to look up a verse for a post, the "verse of the day" totally fits! : )
I might have a broken foot. From taekwondo sparring. Those inexperienced 200 lb., 6'2'' yellow belts with ZERO control...so frustrating. I only JUST recovered from a knee injury from taekwondo of December 2007. SOO frustrating.
But I'm trusting God. This, if it is broken, and tomorrow will tell, may seem like just another challenge in a challenging past few months. But this is like boot camp for the Marines! Seriously! I've decided that's the only way for me to survive my life, which is never dull and not always easy.
Every challenge is an opportunity to get closer to and stronger in God. EVERY SINGLE ONE.
This is my 2009 motto. So bring it!!!!
“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
--1 Cor. 13:6-7
**BibleGateway.com ROCKS! Every single time I go on there to look up a verse for a post, the "verse of the day" totally fits! : )
February 03, 2009
A Borrowed Blog
This is from the blog of one of my favorite Christian artists, Tenth Avenue North. I LOVE THIS BLOG! And I don't feel I could've said this better.
So truth from a different source:
Chapter 5 Let it Go
"And avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie."-Fydor Doystoevsky, (the Brothers Karamazov)
Today, this single phrase has been beating in my head like a war drum.
On the battlefield of my mind, and in the fragile chaos of my machine-like heart,this simple line has been echoing on.
Reverberating off the walls of war-torn streets,
I can faintly hear the Roman calvary choirs singing.
And for me, it sounds a lot like freedom.
This one thought, this shining flickering light is my lighthouse in a thundering sea.
Maybe not you, but I for one have been rather sick and tired of myself as of late.
And more specifically, I'm tired of the lies that I so blindly believe.
I know it may sound melodramatic, but if my heart is where my treasure is then I'm tired of this love affair I've made with doubt and the seemingly never-ending struggle in my heart.
I want you to get it. I want you to understand that if you struggle with the answersthat you're not alone. But I also want you to know the root, the cause, and the fight that's in between.
Lies.
There are lies everywhere.
Blinking neon lights, and sweetly penned secrets.
A movie. A sermon. A Day after thanksgiving sale.
How quickly we forget that the things we hear and see are making an impression.
Like an empty place in the bed where a body used to lay,
they're wrapped up in the sheets, but they don't need the rest.
They can come without warning and talk for hours without a sound.
Lies tell the future, insist on interpreting the past, and seem to always keep us paralyzed to the present.
They can fill a closet with skeletons and invite monsters under the bed.
Lies are strangers in friends clothing and fill your house when you're alone.
Fears.
The inevitable, unstoppable result of listening to something other than the truth.
Cousins, sisters, brothers [mothers] perhaps? I'm not exactly sure the relation
but I know that its a tie that binds.
Feed one, and you nourish the other.
Nurture a lie, and watch the panic grow.
Forget the truth and welcome anxiety.
Give up on hope, and welcome misery with open arms.
So then it should comes as no surprise that the most recurrent command in all the Bible is this:"Do not be afraid."
Easy enough right?
Well maybe it could be, but I don't think we'll ever live free of fear as long as fear itself is our problem.
Fydor reminds me. Fear is the consequence of a lie, which means, if I find in myself some irrisistible anxiety, chances are, I've welcomed a lie into my heart. And maybe I didn't exactly welcome it. Maybe I just forgot to close the door on some memory or I left the window cracked, but whatever the reason, if the lie has crept in somewhere, and has made its home where my faith has worn through, I must recognize it for what it is.
It should also come as no surprise then, that the work of God is belief.
"This is the work of God, that you believe in the one whom He has sent." Or as Jon Foreman sang, "belief over misery."
Do we understand that fear isn't something that we are meant to live with? Do we have any idea how free we would be if we could just believe? And trust me, I know. It's not easy. In fact, its the hardest work any of else will ever have to do, but its the war we were meant for. Since we're grafted into Israel as Romans says, that means we're brought in to "wrestle with God,"for that is exactly what Israel means.
So we fight to rest.
We work to stop working.
We war for peace.
We run to stand still.
Life is waiting for the ones who lose control. "taking captive every thought, and making it obedient to Christ Jesus." Take captive? Yeah. Take it freaking captive. Smack that lie in the mouth and slaughter it with truth.
Here's some fights I've had so far.
Lie: "you're too screwed up for God to love you anymore."
Truth: "God proves his love, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)
Lie: "I've made too many poor choices. I've missed God's will for my life."
Truth: "Even what you meant for evil, God meant for good." (Gen 50:20)
"God works all things together for good for those who love God and who have been called"
Lie: "Someone might break in and kill me."
Word: "Do not fear those who can kill the body and after that can do no more. Fear him who after killing the body has the power to throw you into hell." (Luke 12:4,5)
Lie: "I'm not good enough"
Truth: "In this is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us...." (I John 4:10)
Lie: "I'm awesome. God owes me."
Truth: "God is not served by men's hands as if He needed anything..." (Acts 17:25)
Lie: OMG. Can you believe this guy? What a jerk!
Truth: "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but with sober judgement,according the measure of faith God has given you." (Romans 12:3)
Lie: "Sex will give me the pleasure I'm looking for."
Truth: "I have no good thing apart from you." (Psalm 16:2)
"In His presence there is the fullness of joy, at his right hand are pleasures forever." (Psalm 16:11)
Lie: "God's command is going to ruin your good time."
Truth: "The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but I have come to give you life,and life more abundantly." (John 10:10)
Lie: "I don't have the strength to say no to this!"
Truth: "if anyone is in Christ He is a new creation." (2 Cor 5:17)
"and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." (I Cor 10:13)
The war drum goes on. It never ends, it doesn't stop.
And so avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie.
Belief is a fight. Work at it with all the power that God supplies.
-------------------------------------------
Good right? I have nothing else to add. Except that I have fought every single one of those lies too (and conquered them by the grace of God.)
So truth from a different source:
Chapter 5 Let it Go
"And avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie."-Fydor Doystoevsky, (the Brothers Karamazov)
Today, this single phrase has been beating in my head like a war drum.
On the battlefield of my mind, and in the fragile chaos of my machine-like heart,this simple line has been echoing on.
Reverberating off the walls of war-torn streets,
I can faintly hear the Roman calvary choirs singing.
And for me, it sounds a lot like freedom.
This one thought, this shining flickering light is my lighthouse in a thundering sea.
Maybe not you, but I for one have been rather sick and tired of myself as of late.
And more specifically, I'm tired of the lies that I so blindly believe.
I know it may sound melodramatic, but if my heart is where my treasure is then I'm tired of this love affair I've made with doubt and the seemingly never-ending struggle in my heart.
I want you to get it. I want you to understand that if you struggle with the answersthat you're not alone. But I also want you to know the root, the cause, and the fight that's in between.
Lies.
There are lies everywhere.
Blinking neon lights, and sweetly penned secrets.
A movie. A sermon. A Day after thanksgiving sale.
How quickly we forget that the things we hear and see are making an impression.
Like an empty place in the bed where a body used to lay,
they're wrapped up in the sheets, but they don't need the rest.
They can come without warning and talk for hours without a sound.
Lies tell the future, insist on interpreting the past, and seem to always keep us paralyzed to the present.
They can fill a closet with skeletons and invite monsters under the bed.
Lies are strangers in friends clothing and fill your house when you're alone.
Fears.
The inevitable, unstoppable result of listening to something other than the truth.
Cousins, sisters, brothers [mothers] perhaps? I'm not exactly sure the relation
but I know that its a tie that binds.
Feed one, and you nourish the other.
Nurture a lie, and watch the panic grow.
Forget the truth and welcome anxiety.
Give up on hope, and welcome misery with open arms.
So then it should comes as no surprise that the most recurrent command in all the Bible is this:"Do not be afraid."
Easy enough right?
Well maybe it could be, but I don't think we'll ever live free of fear as long as fear itself is our problem.
Fydor reminds me. Fear is the consequence of a lie, which means, if I find in myself some irrisistible anxiety, chances are, I've welcomed a lie into my heart. And maybe I didn't exactly welcome it. Maybe I just forgot to close the door on some memory or I left the window cracked, but whatever the reason, if the lie has crept in somewhere, and has made its home where my faith has worn through, I must recognize it for what it is.
It should also come as no surprise then, that the work of God is belief.
"This is the work of God, that you believe in the one whom He has sent." Or as Jon Foreman sang, "belief over misery."
Do we understand that fear isn't something that we are meant to live with? Do we have any idea how free we would be if we could just believe? And trust me, I know. It's not easy. In fact, its the hardest work any of else will ever have to do, but its the war we were meant for. Since we're grafted into Israel as Romans says, that means we're brought in to "wrestle with God,"for that is exactly what Israel means.
So we fight to rest.
We work to stop working.
We war for peace.
We run to stand still.
Life is waiting for the ones who lose control. "taking captive every thought, and making it obedient to Christ Jesus." Take captive? Yeah. Take it freaking captive. Smack that lie in the mouth and slaughter it with truth.
Here's some fights I've had so far.
Lie: "you're too screwed up for God to love you anymore."
Truth: "God proves his love, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)
Lie: "I've made too many poor choices. I've missed God's will for my life."
Truth: "Even what you meant for evil, God meant for good." (Gen 50:20)
"God works all things together for good for those who love God and who have been called"
Lie: "Someone might break in and kill me."
Word: "Do not fear those who can kill the body and after that can do no more. Fear him who after killing the body has the power to throw you into hell." (Luke 12:4,5)
Lie: "I'm not good enough"
Truth: "In this is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us...." (I John 4:10)
Lie: "I'm awesome. God owes me."
Truth: "God is not served by men's hands as if He needed anything..." (Acts 17:25)
Lie: OMG. Can you believe this guy? What a jerk!
Truth: "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but with sober judgement,according the measure of faith God has given you." (Romans 12:3)
Lie: "Sex will give me the pleasure I'm looking for."
Truth: "I have no good thing apart from you." (Psalm 16:2)
"In His presence there is the fullness of joy, at his right hand are pleasures forever." (Psalm 16:11)
Lie: "God's command is going to ruin your good time."
Truth: "The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but I have come to give you life,and life more abundantly." (John 10:10)
Lie: "I don't have the strength to say no to this!"
Truth: "if anyone is in Christ He is a new creation." (2 Cor 5:17)
"and He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." (I Cor 10:13)
The war drum goes on. It never ends, it doesn't stop.
And so avoid fear, for fear is the consequence of every lie.
Belief is a fight. Work at it with all the power that God supplies.
-------------------------------------------
Good right? I have nothing else to add. Except that I have fought every single one of those lies too (and conquered them by the grace of God.)
The Valleys
I don't think that the mainstream evangelical church does a very good job preparing Christians -- especially new ones -- for going through life's valleys, more specifically, the valleys in your relationship with Christ.
Let's be honest. NO ONE is "on fire" 100% of their life for Christ. "On fire" meaning that passionate "honeymoon" period of emotions and excitement that is such a huge deal to the church. Life is just so hard sometimes. If we had nothing else to do but sit around and think about Christ, read the Bible/books about Him, and listen to good classical or Christian music, maybe we would have a chance at not ever "cooling" off. But that's not realistic.
Our relationship with Christ is like a marriage. There are going to be times when you absolutely do not want to do what is best for the other person in the marriage. (Speaking not from experience, but hoping I'm correct.) But you love that person so you do it anyway. Or you know that it is best for the relationship and will help make loving them easier in the future (by laying more foundations), so you do it anyway.
That is how it is with Christ. Sometimes, the things He commands us to do are downright breathtaking. And not breathtaking like, "Wow! Look at that sunrise!" Breathtaking like you just found out one of the people you love most in the world has cancer. (Speaking from experience.) Breathtaking like someone is chasing you, with intent to kill, and the only way to escape is to jump over the cliff and hope you land in the water, not the rocks below. (Speaking not from experience.)
Those are the valleys. Well, forget valleys. Those are the Mariana Trenches in life. And most people don't usually tell you how very real those will be when you are a new Christian.
So I'll tell you .
YOU ABSOLUTELY WILL COME ACROSS TIMES IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU WANT TO STOP FOLLOWING CHRIST.
And that is normal. What is not normal and is not okay, is following through with that desire and actually forsaking Christ for any length of time.
The good thing about valleys is that, just like they have a down-slope, they always have an up-slope. They always end.
I was reading in one of my favorite books, The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life, that everything in life (everything) is either eternal or temporary.
Satan wants us to swallow the lie that the only way out is to sell out. Jesus is there saying, "Hold My hand. Hold on. Wait. I'll carry you through. The rewards will be good. The end justifies the means."
God always has a greater purpose than we can sometimes see for any suffering He allows His saints to go through. But we won't get to see the purpose if we don't hang on and trust till the end.
Making the choice to have faith in His plan and to hold on through every up and down is what Chrisitanity is all about. Forsaking ourselves, picking up our crosses and following Him.
And that is where life can be found. Without Christ, life is just one big valley with occasional happy spots. Trust me. I'm speaking from experience.
Let's be honest. NO ONE is "on fire" 100% of their life for Christ. "On fire" meaning that passionate "honeymoon" period of emotions and excitement that is such a huge deal to the church. Life is just so hard sometimes. If we had nothing else to do but sit around and think about Christ, read the Bible/books about Him, and listen to good classical or Christian music, maybe we would have a chance at not ever "cooling" off. But that's not realistic.
Our relationship with Christ is like a marriage. There are going to be times when you absolutely do not want to do what is best for the other person in the marriage. (Speaking not from experience, but hoping I'm correct.) But you love that person so you do it anyway. Or you know that it is best for the relationship and will help make loving them easier in the future (by laying more foundations), so you do it anyway.
That is how it is with Christ. Sometimes, the things He commands us to do are downright breathtaking. And not breathtaking like, "Wow! Look at that sunrise!" Breathtaking like you just found out one of the people you love most in the world has cancer. (Speaking from experience.) Breathtaking like someone is chasing you, with intent to kill, and the only way to escape is to jump over the cliff and hope you land in the water, not the rocks below. (Speaking not from experience.)
Those are the valleys. Well, forget valleys. Those are the Mariana Trenches in life. And most people don't usually tell you how very real those will be when you are a new Christian.
So I'll tell you .
YOU ABSOLUTELY WILL COME ACROSS TIMES IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU WANT TO STOP FOLLOWING CHRIST.
And that is normal. What is not normal and is not okay, is following through with that desire and actually forsaking Christ for any length of time.
The good thing about valleys is that, just like they have a down-slope, they always have an up-slope. They always end.
I was reading in one of my favorite books, The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life, that everything in life (everything) is either eternal or temporary.
Satan wants us to swallow the lie that the only way out is to sell out. Jesus is there saying, "Hold My hand. Hold on. Wait. I'll carry you through. The rewards will be good. The end justifies the means."
God always has a greater purpose than we can sometimes see for any suffering He allows His saints to go through. But we won't get to see the purpose if we don't hang on and trust till the end.
Making the choice to have faith in His plan and to hold on through every up and down is what Chrisitanity is all about. Forsaking ourselves, picking up our crosses and following Him.
And that is where life can be found. Without Christ, life is just one big valley with occasional happy spots. Trust me. I'm speaking from experience.
“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.”
--Psalm 59:16--
February 01, 2009
"Love is Here"
This is my favorite Christian artist. I hope this touches someone, somewhere...
Thank You, Jesus, for being all I need...I'm sorry for ever wanting more...
Insomnia
I went to BibleGateway.com to try to find something that would encourage me and help me fall asleep because I'm having a rough time at the moment.
But this verse was on the front page:
Not exactly encouraging I would say, but definitely thought-provoking. All I can do is love the Lord with all that is within me. There is absolutely nothing else I can do. I cannot save anyone I love/care about. I cannot save myself. I could not take my next breath if God did not want me to. I cannot make wrongs work out for good.
I can do nothing. There is a peace in that acknowledgement. As long as we believe that we can do something, then there is pressure to do it. But when we see that we are helpless little peons that God deigns to save and empower, then we are free from that pressure -- set free in rest that it is ALL God's problem, not ours.
That is encouraging.
I can't do anything. All I can do is love God with everything in me. Even that takes His help. But that's pretty much it. So I have to rest that God IS in control! If He gives me strength to talk to someone, He's also going to have to supply the words since I cannot. Then, whatever comes of it, is His responsibility. I'm just a messenger of sorts.
But let all who take refuge in You be glad,
Let them ever sing for joy;
And may You shelter them,
That those who love Your name may exult in You.
--Psalm 5:11--
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me,
And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.
--Psalm 27:6--
For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.
--Psalm 30:5--
Here's to the morning. May it come soon...
Happy February.
But this verse was on the front page:
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
--Deuteronomy 6:4-5--
--Deuteronomy 6:4-5--
Not exactly encouraging I would say, but definitely thought-provoking. All I can do is love the Lord with all that is within me. There is absolutely nothing else I can do. I cannot save anyone I love/care about. I cannot save myself. I could not take my next breath if God did not want me to. I cannot make wrongs work out for good.
I can do nothing. There is a peace in that acknowledgement. As long as we believe that we can do something, then there is pressure to do it. But when we see that we are helpless little peons that God deigns to save and empower, then we are free from that pressure -- set free in rest that it is ALL God's problem, not ours.
That is encouraging.
I can't do anything. All I can do is love God with everything in me. Even that takes His help. But that's pretty much it. So I have to rest that God IS in control! If He gives me strength to talk to someone, He's also going to have to supply the words since I cannot. Then, whatever comes of it, is His responsibility. I'm just a messenger of sorts.
But let all who take refuge in You be glad,
Let them ever sing for joy;
And may You shelter them,
That those who love Your name may exult in You.
--Psalm 5:11--
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me,
And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.
--Psalm 27:6--
For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for a lifetime;
Weeping may last for the night,
But a shout of joy comes in the morning.
--Psalm 30:5--
Here's to the morning. May it come soon...
Happy February.
January 29, 2009
Current Project!
http://www.youtube.com/user/PikePictures has more clips and videos. Our blog is http://www.creationexplorers.blogspot.com/.
January 28, 2009
Courage: Quotes That Inspire Me
The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
--Charles Dubois--
--Charles Dubois--
I just think life is scary. We either go through life stagnant, or we jump off those cliffs and climb those mountains and face those unknown challenges behind those scary doors -- the kind that look like the gates of Mordor.
Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.
--Dorothy Thompson--
I differ with you slightly, Ms. Thompson. I think that only when we decide to not let our fears rule our lives do we begin to live -- and in that, face and conquer those fears that held us back.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
--Eleanor Roosevelt--
Isn't this one of the most overused quotes ever? But I never hear the last part -- you must do the thing you think you cannot do. Why is that? Maybe I'm just not listening very well. Or maybe, no one wants to do those things that really freak us out and look impossible. I certainly, naturally, do not want to do those things!! But with Christ, I can face my fears and do those things with I alone truly cannot do!
The right way is not always the popular and easy way. Standing for right when it is unpopular is a true test of moral character.
--Margaret Chase Smith--
That goes with that VERY popular quote by Edmund Burke, "A man truly believes not what he recites in his creed but what he is willing to die for."
(Our) History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage (and Christ of course!), need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou--
No comment. That's pretty clear to me.
Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.
--attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson--
I LOVE that!!! I want to be a brave woman!! I know I lack in so many ways -- courage especially being one of them. But I also know that in every single area that I lack, Christ is there to make up the difference if we are sold out for Him!
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
--Theodore Roosevelt--
If that all sounded like a lot of the same thing over and over, I'm sorry. But I needed a courage pick-me-up. It helps me to realize that I'm not as alone in my struggles as I think I am and that a lot of other people have faced similar challenges and survived and WON.
Alone, I can do nothing. But with Christ, with the faith of a mustard seed, I can move mountains!!!
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
--Deuteronomy 31:6--
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